the ugly and the good

bad news: My dad won't buy me a car.
good news: he suddenly wants to buy me a car.
bad news: my piano's getting worse
good news: I'll be starting class soon. I hope.
bad news: Malaysian studies...I have no idea what its contents are.
good news: I don't have to LISTEN to boring lectures?
bad news: the band still need a vocalist.
good news: we have new songs.
bad news: exam is near
good news: im NOT worried just yet
bad news: im out of ideas
good news: im ending this.

freshie

well.
so i started college. Segi that is. So much to say. So many holes to fill up with. So many new experiences. New friends. New miseries. New problems. New way of settling. new timetable.

I can't wake up as late as i used to. Well, I still do. when i got no class. And nad went with me to the college once. And Im freakin tired ryte now. Mom said she wanted to buy me a new laptop. it doesn't matter to me really. Cuz this one's working just as fine.

Dad says he'll get me a car. Yeah, I think he's slowing down the whole process cuz he's scared that i might go out often when i got one. And that I'd be at home as little as I could. To me, I really need my car. And I come home like everyday. So there's nothing to worry about much. lolx.

So now i drive the pajero every now and then. I even become the driver for "breakfast with family on weekends". And my dad gets frightened, nah, over-worried everytime i drive.
Or was it just once that i drove with him in the car. So i need my own, petite, little car.

There's so many things in life. But i prefer to keep it private. Let myself taste every bit of it. The sweet, the bitter, the sour. The mixture.

Happenings!!!! うつくしhappenings!

Well
its not that much of brags. But i get to see nad. After so long. and i went to see mecha. She's so small. Aha. but cute still. And I like her shoes. or was it sneakers? But i love em. Lolx.

Also. Im starting college next monday. And my dad finally decided not to buy me a car. I think he made up his mind. Cuz he wanted me to use the pajero. I was like "eh??" "you serious??"
He even offered me to drive the merc yesterday. I want to. But I think it's far better if I just stay at home. Haha. My mom says there's no "P" on the merc. Plus, she won't let me drive the merc. Cuz the reversing part is killing. It is.

Im driving a big car. And i just got my license. And i drive back home safe. Even tho i almost hit a motorbike. Woah, Im great! aha. I have to admit. im A little too over-worried. Whatever that means. Or maybe cuz i was driving my dad's 4wD!! But I'll pull it thru. haha.

So i decided. Im not gonna drive to college until i can really handle that car. Or if im ever gonna get a new one.

Ow yeah, I fuckingly need a new pair of jeans. I do. And nad says I look eerily thin. I wanna be a bit fat. But i don't want bulging tummy. And now I'm working on a flat tyre. It isn't working yet. It's only flat when i woke up in the morning. lolx. Ow yeah, and i would love some sweatshirts. really need them. I don't want to wear just t-shirts all the time.
Long sleeves seem pretty well nice too.

Numbs

Its currently 11:50 a.m.
Im nothing like yesterday. I got my results. wasn't the best. But satisfying enough.
I've been thinking. I know what i want in life. Don't I? I've got college waiting ahead. I've got my guitar. Ive got my piano. i've got something promising ahead. Should i really waste my time thinking minor stuffs? Although I cant help it. I feel like a cigaratte or two will do it. But again, is it really a compulsory?

It was 12:36 a.m.
I felt offended. And that just puts me in a swinging unstable ride. Although i shouldn't care much. Since it wasn't my wrongdoings. But I couldn't help the feeling of being untrusted. No. I was totally being blamed. For a girl who just happened to be someone special.

It's currently 11:57 a.m.
Am i special for anyone. anyone at all? because nobody ever told me that. People say it. But has no intention of showing it. Am i really that someone? I can't have a convincing answer for that. Because I'm not sure where i stand myself.

It was 11:00 a.m.
Should i trust peoples words? Should I trust anybody at all? I want to. But bad things always seem to block me. Am i really it? Or just a toy? Or maybe a substitute? or maybe someone easily fooled? By anyone?

It is currently 12:03 p.m.
I want to go out. I wanna drive fast. I no longer know where i stand. Not because of peoples talk.Simply because the truth of everyones feelings. i am really hurt. Really offended.

It was nearly midnight.
It was the best night. I really had it kept. I really think of it until i nearly fall asleep. it was. Until something crushed it. But i was happy.

new guitar>.<

yeeeeeaaaaaaahhhhh!!!!

i got myself a new guitar.
haha.
but i still owe my mom rm300 tho.

but i'll work it out. the main point is that i got myself a new treasure. A beautiful one tooo.... Seriouly! It's a cort btw. And its cherry in colour. haha. Or so that's what they call it. But its beautifulllll. And gives a melodious sound too. lolx. Yeah, its true. Ive been playing with it non stop.

Fine, i did stop to get my breakfast, watch a tv show, and doing some of my chores. And the job my mom gave me and writing this blog. Lol.

But i got a new song!!!! haha. not complete yet. In progress. And this comp keeps popping out antivirus protection program-o.

Did I mention?? My band got a new bassist, one that sings well too. haha. So one more should complete the band. Or maybe two.

And i fell in love with Mana. From Malice mizer if u have no idea who he is. I love his violin skills.

N yeah, I got to play jay chou's Qing tian already. hahaha

Still waiting for An jing. And there's a few new songs from him. I dont know, the soundtracks of Kung Fu dunk.

Ow yeah, here's my new guitar....

Another college Offer.

I got another college offer today.
Putra Intelect College called me.
Said Im one of the 200 people chosen throughout peninsular Malaysia.
I dont know if i should be impressed or not. Well, it does say i'd get a job immediately after Diploma and that i could get a loan.
Wait, Im sure to get a loan. According to the guy that is
Well, I didnt accept it. It's about security management.
In other words, I'll be working in the corporate world. Sounds cool.
But i wouldnt wanna be dead saying I worked hard and rich.
I wanna be dead knowing my music reached people. Even if it means sufferings and hard times.
So i ditched the offer. I chose Music. I chose to be at Segi.
I chose to widen up my knowledge on music and seeking opportunity in it.
I'd be far of happier if i can be rich by music, or atleast just live by it.

So, I chose music. But it was a funny call. Since the guy told me if i could have a bright future in music.
to the guy, HELL YEAH!! Im gonna Fuckin enjoy my life with music. And im not just another teenage who just wants stardom.

failure. it shouldnt happen

i wouldnt wanna talk. cuz i FAILED my driving test. And i din't do mistakes.
i followed steps. well, god's gotta have its reason.
And someone spoke up of taking the place for bassist in my band.
finally. i havent meet them tho.
My mom gave me jobs. Yet again, finally. And I got my washburn fixed.
Briefly, i have no mood to update my life.Not today atleast.