Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Happenings!!!! うつくしhappenings!

its not that much of brags. But i get to see nad. After so long. and i went to see mecha. She's so small. Aha. but cute still. And I like her shoes. or was it sneakers? But i love em. Lolx.

Also. Im starting college next monday. And my dad finally decided not to buy me a car. I think he made up his mind. Cuz he wanted me to use the pajero. I was like "eh??" "you serious??"
He even offered me to drive the merc yesterday. I want to. But I think it's far better if I just stay at home. Haha. My mom says there's no "P" on the merc. Plus, she won't let me drive the merc. Cuz the reversing part is killing. It is.

Im driving a big car. And i just got my license. And i drive back home safe. Even tho i almost hit a motorbike. Woah, Im great! aha. I have to admit. im A little too over-worried. Whatever that means. Or maybe cuz i was driving my dad's 4wD!! But I'll pull it thru. haha.

So i decided. Im not gonna drive to college until i can really handle that car. Or if im ever gonna get a new one.

Ow yeah, I fuckingly need a new pair of jeans. I do. And nad says I look eerily thin. I wanna be a bit fat. But i don't want bulging tummy. And now I'm working on a flat tyre. It isn't working yet. It's only flat when i woke up in the morning. lolx. Ow yeah, and i would love some sweatshirts. really need them. I don't want to wear just t-shirts all the time.
Long sleeves seem pretty well nice too.

Thursday, March 13, 2008


Its currently 11:50 a.m.
Im nothing like yesterday. I got my results. wasn't the best. But satisfying enough.
I've been thinking. I know what i want in life. Don't I? I've got college waiting ahead. I've got my guitar. Ive got my piano. i've got something promising ahead. Should i really waste my time thinking minor stuffs? Although I cant help it. I feel like a cigaratte or two will do it. But again, is it really a compulsory?

It was 12:36 a.m.
I felt offended. And that just puts me in a swinging unstable ride. Although i shouldn't care much. Since it wasn't my wrongdoings. But I couldn't help the feeling of being untrusted. No. I was totally being blamed. For a girl who just happened to be someone special.

It's currently 11:57 a.m.
Am i special for anyone. anyone at all? because nobody ever told me that. People say it. But has no intention of showing it. Am i really that someone? I can't have a convincing answer for that. Because I'm not sure where i stand myself.

It was 11:00 a.m.
Should i trust peoples words? Should I trust anybody at all? I want to. But bad things always seem to block me. Am i really it? Or just a toy? Or maybe a substitute? or maybe someone easily fooled? By anyone?

It is currently 12:03 p.m.
I want to go out. I wanna drive fast. I no longer know where i stand. Not because of peoples talk.Simply because the truth of everyones feelings. i am really hurt. Really offended.

It was nearly midnight.
It was the best night. I really had it kept. I really think of it until i nearly fall asleep. it was. Until something crushed it. But i was happy.