Friday, October 23, 2009
She sat in that bunk bed thinking about her future. Yes I am thinking. If only I can skip steps and atleast have my sneak preview of my future self. Will I successfully survive or oh well, just survive. There's so many things I wish I could have but yeah they're like super-glued to some treasure chest and buried in some dead spot-where the only map they have to guide me there is being squeezed into yet some random bottle and thrown into the sea of people and misfortunes and obstacles. So yeah, Life's tougher than I thought. And the older I grow the scarier it gets. Scared I would stumble and not find my strength to get up and go on. But occasionally, more like miraculously, I eventually will. In some way. Yes, I do believe in a very transparent guarding wings or supernova- I just think it sound more convincing and grotesque, though I don't know in what sense. So my current issue is-redefining myself and reconcile what I forgot. It's like the fun, bright me has been sucked out of my body-skintight. But I am still sane and fun, I'm just refilling the ones that got sucked out. And that's a lot of positive energy. So dear miss Afina, party on. After all it's all sex, drugs and Rock n roll aint it? hah, but I would skip the drugging part and keep on rockin like a child who just got his first perfect solo. Live and on stage.