Friday, May 14, 2010

As I grow

I've come to discover that when I was little I sulk a lot. Like really a lot, I sulk whenever things don't go my way, and I cry at the littlest pain, yeah and people could drown in my tears if I were to feel pains - with the s, plural form, as in saying many.

Now that i've reach adulthood (while saying this, please note that i'm still in doubt if I'm fit enough to be called an adult), point is, now I can cry at almost everything, I mean, small pain don't and won't cost me tears, I almost just get over it, or as hard as I try to force, my tears just won't budge out. But I could cry at watching movies, reading stories, and of course, when I feel like I've failed.

My tears flow while I was watching My Name is Khan, well because, it's touchy enough to see how the Muslims withstand hatred from people around after the event of 9/11. I cried at watching Adamaya, because it's touchy too see a wife begging for forgiveness from his husband. Then i cried at watching Lovely Bones because, i was raged at the heartless killer. Point is, I guess, as I grew it's easier for me to imagine myself in such situations, it's easier for me to relate to people even.

I mean as I grew, I realise more than ever that I can't be selfish. Whatever suffering I go through, obstacles I need to overtake, whatever hurricane and storm I need to withstand, I am never alone, infact there might be someone out there facing worse. I learnt that at times we need to follow our heart, but sometimes emotions kill. And that's when the brain takes over. I've realised too, emotions could swallow us deep into a sinkhole, but wisdom could only tell us how to live.