Sunday, July 5, 2009

Look through

A post of no reason absolutely this is. I just when through a day of laziness. Life, realizing this a few days ago, is moving fast. Really fast, and I'm afraid I'm not ready for what's coming. I'm already in college. Nothing new yeah. But Im already a year here. I wonder for how long will I stay. I mean, this isn't high school where failure can be mend. It's a do or die world Im living and it costs money. Music is my all-time path. Yet, it never is easy. I keep telling myself to focus more, concentrate and be serious but the mantra last only up to an hour. Before I even get the urge to start again. And to be reminded, my ABRSM exam is less then 30days. An absolute reason with no failure attachment. Can't do it. I need to find the button. One that will leave me striving. And that is my study life. Or so to realise, it ain't permanent. I'll eventually graduate and I'm going to pay for my own food very soon. I sort of freak out everytime I have this picture. I've been fed by mom and dad. It's them for food, gas, and everything. Then one day, I'm going to be living myself, supporting myself. The only pocket money I'll earn is the one coming out from my pay-check. Pay-check? I can't even help but to wonder what would be my means of earnings. And if you think I am so snuggling myself and haven't had the taste of hardship, well suck it up because if you're a teen, then we're the same. WE have no idea of what the world really looks like. And eventhough we hate to admit it, our parents are always behind us every single day of our teen life. We rely on them by all means. So it's time to wake up and say grace to have them and to realise we're going to switch place with them very very soon. Then it'll be our turn to pay the house, car, eccetera. And I might have no idea what you'r thinking but I want my parents to have a cosy life, just like how they had embraced me with. Though life little girl. Grow up now.
Shewolves is slowly driving into progress. I'm seeing visions of us. If Shewolves works well, which I hope will more than anything, then I can kiss my worries goodbye. Because, everything would fit into my plan of construction. Then again, an early kickstart ain't easy. Whatever it is, I know there's this one angel that'll help me through it all :) This angel I found hiding in college. So i guess a rough start does turn out well, depending on our beliefs :)

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