This is a tough essay to write. i blurted out my anger, and deleted it. Then started to sound harsh on it, but it sound a bit too showing. So I erased all and start a fresh essay. However though, someone told me, well not just one person, told me to not to think too much. Another person told me, Just do what you feel is right. Another one told me, well, she just spoon fed me the answer, and also said, if it didn't turn out right, if it's a bluff after all, then that would be a new episode. The episode of making it sickeningly awfully nauseous. I, however, am still on the line. Unsure. Okay, well, maybe I am sure, maybe I am not. My brain jammed. Whatever happens soon though, will still happen no matter how i want to make it stop. Truth is, I don't have any time machine to seek into the future to stop the evil from happening. I am taking risks., but don't we all? We take risks everyday. Just that, today I am glad to have made someone happy. I am always glad to make him happy, in some ways, it left me a sense of satisfaction. Satisfied for the fact that someone is beside me in harsh cold or stormy night. Today tought me, i am being protected by my beloved, and also, today onwards, I will always know. I hold the match to the cigaratte. Every time it lits up, I will be the reason for it. I am proud somehow. Not to brag or show off. I am proud because, I know all my fights was worth it. I really do think it is now. Maybe this won't make sense, but if you are as involved in it as I am, It would come to be a perfect sense to you too.